Engagement Traditions

During my research for Choosing Fortune, I learned a little bit about Japan’s traditions surrounding engagement, or acceptance of a marriage offer. 

Yuinou – a betrothal ceremony featuring a gift exchange. The groom and his family present several meaningful gifts to the bride and her family, mostly I read about gifts representing hopes for the couple’s future: growing fortune, future children and grandchildren, long life together. Historically, betrothal wasn’t considered serious until the yuinou. 

Japan does not see marriage as joining individuals, but rather, joining family. 

I scrapped a plot line that focused on engagement rings (a recognizable Western trope) and pivoted to convincing family. The below scene (only lightly edited, please be kind) is a version of the “third-act break-up”.

The couple had snuck away for the weekend only to be interrupted by friends. Toshiko had put on a brave face, made food for the unexpected guests and left Kyoya alone with the boys. That evening, Kyoya tries to absorb the meaning of her disappearance. 

Deleted Scene Below

The voicemail message went unnoticed for hours.

I really had hoped to have the day with you. I didn’t want to leave you a message like a coward. But I so wanted to be with you last night – a perfect moment to believe. I love you, Maou, And I’ve been afraid I’ll bore you or embarrass you. Or lose myself trying to be a model wife of the Ohtori. I’m not that, you well know. Your father knows too and he may forgive last night but not anything official. That’s why I can’t accept your gifts and I had to seek protection. Don’t try to find me, Kyoya. Tomorrow is another country and I left your passport in the top drawer. Goodbye.
 

Kyoya sat unmoving, letting the evening shadows creep across the floor and cover him in darkness. His thoughts stuck on a repeating phrase: she’s not coming back. His dispassionate mind added nothing helpful. She’s not coming back. His breath caught on the last word. She’s not coming back.

His eyes felt gritty. Headlights from the street flashed a reflection across the room briefly lighting the remaining rice ball on the table. Kyoya pushed himself up to grab the one Kaoru had indicated to leave. He knew what he would find and didn’t want to be right. He forced the rice ball to crumble away from the ring wrapped in plastic. He slammed his fist down and growled in effort to get control of his voice.

“Haruhi, I need to talk to Tamaki.” He couldn’t stand for this call; sitting up on the floor was all he could manage. “Haruhi, I really need to yell at your idiot husband. I don’t want to take it out on you.” He was still holding the ring in a shaking fist.

“Toshiko left.” He blurted out, “She’s not coming back. We were supposed..” his brain managed to throttle his voice. He cleared his throat to begin again, his voice threatening to crack. “then this morning I was woken by that idiot we both know as Tamaki!” If he hadn’t shown up, Kyoya thought acidly, I would have spent the day with her. Maybe convinced her to stay.

Dumbly, Kyoya continued holding the phone though the call had ended. He thought he’d been polite to Haruhi, probably less so to Tamaki.

Tamaki came and sat beside his old friend. “I said I’d make it up to you.”
“You can’t. She’s gone.” Kyoya’s voice flat.

“She can’t have disappeared off the face of the earth, not from you.”

Kyoya turned red-rimmed eyes to meet Tamaki’s, “I can’t go looking for her. I promised.”

Tamaki stopped short, “Why would you promise that?”

“I went looking for her a few weeks ago and my family’s private police found her first.” He sighed, “It certainly wasn’t my message they were delivering. It terrified her. So I promised: I can’t go looking for her.” Kyoya deflated, “She still came to me, I thought she would stay this time.”

“I guess,” Tamaki started slowly, “I didn’t realize how much time you’ve been spending with her. But if you can’t admit to me that you love her how do you expect her to believe it.”

Standing, Kyoya crossed to the table and snatched the sapphire engagement ring from it: it was still wrapped in plastic and stuck with rice.

“What’s this? Were you giving this to her in FOOD? That’s a Choking Hazard!” For the first time in hours, Kyoya laughed. A deep, needed laugh.

“No” he mentally added, idiot, “I gave her the ring Saturday night. She gave it back inside the damn rice ball.” He opened a drawer and scooped out multiple ring boxes. “It’s not the first time.” He dropped the boxes onto Tamaki’s lap. “She hasn’t accepted a one. She’s managed to send every one back to me.” With a hollow laugh he sank back into the seat beside his friend. “I do love her. I am trying to marry her.”

Tamaki turned over a few of the boxes. “I had no idea.”

“You’ve had your own life” Kyoya sighed and looked over the ring boxes again. “Maybe I should get a jewelry case for these.”

“Why don’t you return them and move on?”

Kyoya glowered, did I not just say I want to marry Toshiko? She never actually refused him. She just put him off until their parents announced their engagement.

“If you truly want her back with you, I’m confident I can make this right.”

Kyoya’s glower darkened. Not in the mood, Tamaki. Your flights of grandeur are not going to fix this.

“I blame myself, of course.”

As well you should. Damn Sunday excursions and damn voicemail.

“After all, I introduced you two.” Tamaki Suoh stood posing as though a Prince declaring a heroic undertaking in some melodrama, a stance well-practiced from high school, and declared, “I will search out Toshiko and return your love to you.”

“Tamaki. You are being an idiot.”